Forcing the Square in the Circle Hole

[Insert attention-grabbing hook here. Yes, this was left intentionally.]

Hello again. In the continuation of this series where I throw things at the wall to see what sticks, we shall make an attempt at a more "structured" post. While thinking of what to write about next, I decided to take the suggestion from my favorite human and write about sleep.

This will not be about sleep quality, nor advice on it (though that could be a topic for a different time). The focus will instead be about sleep schedules. To give this piece a second theme, think of it as 5 AM vs. 5 AM (waking up at that time, vs. going to sleep at that time).

The Irony of My Paycheck

Knowing me, you’d be aware that I never miss an opportunity to talk about the irony in my job choice. I have managed to find myself in an industry that requires early mornings—all of them, always, all for an interest that doesn't quite fit with the rest. There is a deep, cosmic humor in the fact that my finances depends on me being functional at an hour when my soul is still no where to be found.

This is fine for most of the people I work alongside (They probably had the mental wherewithal to work somewhere that aligns with their schedules). They often mention how much they appreciate leaving early and "having the rest of the day." In my case? Let’s just say I don’t quite share in their enthusiasm for waking up with the sun. To me, "having the rest of the day" just means having more hours to question why I made the choice to work where I do and what questionable decisions lead me here.

The Wolf in a Bear’s World

One framework for thinking about this is chronotypes. My coworkers would be more in the "Bear" camp—solid, daytime-functioning humans. I, however, find myself aligning more with the "Wolf" type. You can read up on it here via UCLA Health if you want a light overview of what I'm talking about, but in a general sense, getting familiar with this framework can be useful if you find "traditional" ways of structuring your day don't work for you.

Similar to personality types, you can glean some wisdom from this. Maybe figure out why you feel like you have to wait until 11:00 PM to be a functional adult, and feel like a sentient pile of laundry at any point before 6:00 PM. Just try not to shape your whole life around these categories; people are much too complex to fit into a neat little box (and that goes for you, too).

Enough rambling, let’s get to the meat and spaghetti of it.

"Here in my garage..."

First things first: if your brain auto completed this quote, I'll see you later for bingo night at the old people daycare.

I reference that guy as an excuse to complain about the "self-help gurus" who constantly perpetuate the forced 5 AM routine. My stance, put plainly: absolutely not. Most people aren't "Lions." Pushing a 5 AM narrative as the only path to success isn't just absurd for most; it’s actively counterproductive for how most people's internal clocks work. If these random people can yap about their experiences and way of functioning, I’m going to talk about mine—with particular focus on the irony of living it while my alarm clock's pleas fall on unwelcoming ears.

The Pragmatic "Ugh" Phase

To the neurons in my brain, the morning is reserved for the unfun, "maintenance" tasks. Laundry, cleaning, the repetitive manual tasks that keep a baseline of existence.

Part of why I imagine it is this way is because the world is loud at this hour. If you have the day off, this is when you’re meant to be productive because businesses are open and everyone else is out. But for me, anything before midday is a haze. I am physically present at the job, performing the tasks, talking to people, but my headspace doesn't really shift until about 3:00 PM. That’s when I finally convince my reluctant being to approach the day as a conscious member of society.

Which leads us to the other 5 AM.

The Midnight Sanctuary

While the "early birds" are getting their best work done as the sun rises or maybe even early afternoon, I find my creative peak happens when the rest of the world finally slows down. There is a specific peace that exists only after midnight. The pressure to be "pragmatic" vanishes because you can’t run errands or do groceries at 2:00 AM in most circumstances. The social commitments, expectations, responsibilities, the pings, the obligations—die down.

This is when the creative work actually breathes. Whether I’m working on sketching a blog outline, or diving into tech, or absorbed in an anime, my mind is finally focused. Big surprise that in the diverse collection of distinct individuals inhabiting earth, for some the saying "early to bed, early to rise" just means we’re missing the only time of day when we’re actually ourselves.

The Final Brew

I’ve realized that trying to force a "Lion" schedule into a "Wolf" soul is just a recipe for a burnt-out brain. My job might demand I wake up with the birds, but my spirit doesn't clock in until the owls come out.

I’ve made my peace with it. My mornings might be a caffeinated frenzy of early shifts and "blegh," but my nights are where I find the peace to actually function as myself. It’s where this blog lives and where the world finally slows down enough to allow me to hear my own thoughts as they naturally are.

So, here’s to the 5 AM-ers—whichever side of the clock you're on. Whether you’re waking up to take on the day and everything it throws at you or finally closing your eyes after conquering a project, just make sure the schedule you’re keeping is actually yours, and not just something someone sold you from a garage in California or a "life hack that'll change everything".

Stay caffeinated, stay curious, and maybe—just maybe—try to get some sleep. Eventually.